24·08·15

I think I'm going through a mid life crisis or something on the lines of that. I've just realised I'm nearly 30 and I can't even drive. And I don't have a career. Not even a proper education.

I've also realised life is pretty... pointless. Think how meaningless one single human is in the whole of universe? But still we have all these emotions and all this energy that is capable of so much. And what do we do with it? We use our energy and waste our lives to go to work, do laundry, clean, sleep and whine about how displeased with everything we are.

I'm bored of having it like that. I've definitely mastered talking about all the things I want to experience in life, but that's about the end of it. I never take any direction in my actions to make it reality. But at the end of the day, if I'm unhappy with any aspect of my life, why not change it? After all it's my life and it's at the end of the day only me that can make it more enjoyable.

15·08·15

It's exactly one week since me and the family came back from our holiday to Croatia. I've had time to land and reflect properly over the trip, and get back into boring everyday life. :P

All I have to say about it all is really, it was amazing.

I was a little anxious about it at first because I haven't been on holiday for so long, but once we got there, there wasn't a single minute I felt stressed. Just the whole atmosphere of the island Brač we stayed on was like paradise. I really hope we will go back one day.

29·07·15

Is it a good idea to make your hobby your job? I seem to be swapping hobbies here and there, but right now I've got two passions that I don't think are gonna wither away anytime soon - gaming and makeup.

When it comes to makeup, I would love to do a professional makeup course, maybe get a freelance thing going on at the side of another job.

With gaming, it's been a part of my life for as long as I can remember. Even playing on my dad's computer when I was probably like 5 years old.

And if you're good, and know what you're doing, you can make money from it. There's Twitch and YouTube for example.

The question is, can I be bothered? And risking that my hobby turns into a chore?

27·07·15

On Saturday I'm going on holiday to Croatia! Eek! I can't say I'm prepared. There are lots of things I need to sort out this week.

I've not been on a holiday for a very long time. I'm both stressed and excited about it. Lots of mixed feelings. I'm most stressed about the travelling actually. I don't like travelling. I like relaxing. :P Fortunately I got some calming pills from my doctor. He's nice to me. He knows I'm suffering from anxiety and he said that even though I'm making lots of progress on my own to get through stressful situations, there's no point that I suffer so my holiday gets ruined. How very kind.

I'm also not too disappointed in the progress I've made in my mini holiday diet. It's working quite well! I think I will keep doing what I'm doing now after holiday too. It makes me feel good, have enough energy for the workouts, and let's me eat ice cream once a week and still lose weight, lol. What more can a girl want? :D

I don't know how I will be doing in Croatia though. I don't know anything about what kind of foods there will be. Hopefully something buttery! :P

13·07·15

Last week went pretty well when it came to fitness! I reached my goal of getting four workouts in for the first time in months. I was pretty sore for the whole week though... I don't know if I can do something different to recover better. I've ran out of BCAAs now though, so I don't know what effect that will have.

Eating went well too. I love LCHF because I can eat two to three meals and not be hungry. My weekly plan right now is to stick to a strict LCHF diet in the week with no nuts and no dairy apart from butter, have a carb nite (read carb binge) on Friday night, and then fat fast on Saturday and Sunday to "detox". It's working really well. We'll see for how long. :P

11·07·15

Is it just me or does the MAC Pro Longwear Concealer pump way too much product out? I always try to do like half a pump, but too much seem to come out anyway. I have to wipe some off. It seems like a waste. I like the concealer a lot, but I might have to invest in another one when this runs out because I'm not happy about wasting so much product. Whaa! Or find a way to get less out...

I also think I need to get a Beautyblender. Blending concealer with my fingers always makes a mess.

07·07·15

Whaaa! Where is this year going?! I can't believe it's July already. It's less than a month until we go on holiday -  the first one since forever. It's well overdue. Obviously I feel a little stressed about it though, just because it was such a long time ago, and it's the first holiday together for me and Tom. If you don't count going to Sweden. And you don't count going to Sweden.

I decided I'll "try" to do a mini weight loss boost now before holiday. A kind of 30 day cut lol. I started this Saturday with a fat fast, that I also did on Sunday. It felt really good actually. Almost like a detox. And now I'm eating a pretty strict keto diet, trying to cut out all dairy (apart from butter) for example.
Also gonna try my best to get my arse to the gym at least four days a week, Seriously. Time to stop being lazy. That sounds just like last minute me - "Holiday in less than a month! Aaaaah, need to lose weight!"

I've also been on a sort of creative craze lately. I've been doing cross stitching, crocheting and also colouring in. I found a really creative mandala grown up colouring book. Sounds lame but it's cool! Promise!